Download PDF Caring for Mary: One Caregiver’s Humorous Dialogues with a Demented Old Italian Woman

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Was I going to tell him his mom was dead decades ago, and deny him that chance to feel peace and resolution? Relax, laugh, play, take your loved one for walks.

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Pet the puppy. Smell the flowers.

And please, ask for help when you need it. When your loved one starts to become angry, paranoid, inappropriately sexualized, aggressive…. When they need meds, or a locked unit, to be safe, to have good days — realize that you have not failed. You are watching the inexorable course of a disease for which we do not have a cure.

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You are giving the best you have to give. Wonderful post and comments. I emailed the interview to friends and family. As with all your posts, you are speaking to and about the approximately 6 percent of the population who are wealthy,. A column directed to the loved ones of those ageing, adn the ageing themselves would be much appreciated and useful. Your blog approaches obscenity in its privilege. What a wonderful post. There are times to be blunt and there are times to cover up a little bit so that a person is not hurt.

It seems to me we do that all the time.

No harm can come from agreeing with a person whose mentation is not clear and present. If it makes their life and your easier, why not! In the early years, my mother lectured my father as he sank deeper into dementia, relentlessly told him his parents were dead, and staged demonstrations of his disability and how awful her life was for the rest of us. It was the culmination of a fraught marriage.

Impressively, she grew in compassion and started to play along with wherever his mind took him. She cared for him beautifully in his final years. I value honesty and truth as much as anyone, but when you care for someone with dementia, the care is about their emotional needs, not your own. They need reassurance and to be kept in emotional balance, and lies are one of your most important tools. I gladly tell an elderly friend that her deceased child my contemporary and friend has just left or is just about to arrive.

To be reminded so often of my own loss is painful, but to shield her mother from that loss is a rather wonderful gift I can give to them both. NR, how is this about privilege? My friend is on Medicaid, in a low cost nursing home, and came from a lower working class background.

Dementia Doesn’t Have to Mean the End of Friendship | Scribd

This advice to go with the flow of dementia works for her and is how aides and visitors have learned to help her. It is such a valuable book, and an easy read for people who are struggling with all the changes that come along with the diagnosis. This service can be very valuable in terms of making sure the house is set up appropriately, and to help someone adjust to life at an assisted living facility. I, like Joanne, have been coaching families for more than 15 years and marvel at their creativity in a totally new situation. I branded my model of coaching StilMee as that is exactly what we aim to do, relate to the personhood not the patient.

Beverly Moore. I saw this article a little late when I was looking over the blog list, but all I could think of was working the graveyard shift in a nursing home very early in my working life. Do you need something? I think that was much better than keeping her constantly drugged, and it harmed no one. The idea that her loved one was simply in the other room really seemed to comfort her. Thanks for this insightful piece. Her mind is thus put at ease and she can enjoy the rest of her day.

His mother and father, dead 20 years had magically gone back to Italy. People grieve their family members with Alzheimers long before they die because key elements to their personalities vanish. My father lost the ability to act like a father and lived for another 18 years. At that point I knew he was really never going to get better, that my father was gone for good. It describes an approach to caring developed by an experienced carer when her mother developed dementia, and it mirrors, in so many ways, all that Mrs Coste says.

And goes on to unpack it a little further. I work for a year charity that cares for the elderly. Another concern may be finding an activity that matches her physical ability. Reading, for instance, may have been a beloved pastime when she was younger. Learn more about some of the best activities for older adults. For many older adults, in particular those who have lost a spouse or who struggle with getting out because of mobility issues, everyday life can become monotonous and feelings of despondency and isolation are common.

Fun activities for seniors can make every day a better day. All it takes is a little creativity! Activities for elderly adults incorporated into each day help seniors thrive. At Hired Hands Homecare, we believe that enhancing senior home care services with enriching activities is a key component to ensuring the highest quality of life. Hired Hands is one of the leading providers of senior care in Santa Rosa, CA and surrounding areas, in part because we believe our clients should be honored with activities that engage them and keep them involved in living life to the fullest on a daily basis.

Learn from the North Bay, CA home care experts how to avoid diabetes care burnout. Diabetics know that living with diabetes is an ongoing struggle, and constant diabetes self-care can at times feel relentless and unending. To overcome the fatigue and avoid diabetes burnout, sometimes all it takes is a little helping hand. For instance, partnering with Hired Hands Homecare, the home care company North Bay, CA families trust, helps diabetes patients with medication reminders, healthy meal planning and preparation, personal hygiene needs, and even housework and running errands.

Additionally, implementing the following tips will go a long way towards improving your outlook and reducing the chance of diabetes burnout:. Exercise regularly. Stop smoking. Reduce alcohol and caffeine intake. Set reasonable goals and expectations. Get sufficient sleep. On this most important Holiday, we would like to extend an enormous heartfelt Thank You to all of our outstanding, dedicated and compassionate employees. It is both an honor and a privilege to be of such service, and to work with such an extraordinary group of dedicated professionals.

Learn how to better manage the daily ups and downs of diabetes care in this article. Effective diabetes care requires consistent, ongoing care management—realizing that ignoring diabetes can result in serious health complications such as heart disease, high blood pressure and even diabetic coma. Thankfully, there are steps diabetics can take to alleviate the stress of diabetes care and remain hopeful and healthy. Most importantly, identify barriers to care. Barriers to diabetes care management can include:.

Requiring additional information and education on proper diabetic care Avoiding circumstances that might disrupt the diabetes care schedule Overcoming excuses related to getting more exercise Eating habits that could be driven by emotions instead of actual hunger Depression or other emotional problems. Learn which symptoms to routinely check for when managing diabetes. Diabetes is more rampant in the United States than ever before, and providing care for a loved one impacted by diabetes symptoms is an everyday event. Following are just a few important examples from the American Diabetes Association of diabetes symptoms to watch for on a routine basis:.

Learns signs to watch for in diabetes care that requires immediate medical attention.

If neglected, diabetes can lead to heart disease, stroke, kidney disease, blindness, and even amputation. Managing diabetes is an everyday occurrence, and there will be certain days that you naturally will feel better than others. Yet, there are some particular diabetes effects that should never be ignored, and that call for the immediate attention of a physician:. B has traditionally loved Halloween, and handing out treats to the neighborhood kids each year. Unfortunately, there were some concerns that he just might not be up for it this year.

Needless to say, it was a spooky, but very pleasant evening, with smiles all around! Learn how to strike a balance between safety and independence for seniors. Yet independence is vital to self-worth, regardless of age. Defining a balance that suits the requirements of both sides may very well be difficult, but there are several important factors to bear in mind that will help.

Let go of ageism. Join us today, Oct. Hired Hands Homecare is proud to celebrate 25 years of participation in the Marin Senior Information Fair, and supporting the seniors and families of Marin County. Review these essential tips when caring for senior parents. Now that your mom is no longer able to drive, and is starting to move around a bit more slowly, you and your siblings have decided to split her care needs amongst yourselves. Another person needs to help with her household chores and laundry. And of course, the yard and flower beds need to be maintained.

The following list of to-dos to keep in mind when organizing a plan of care for your aging parents is a great place to start:. Explore whether or not having a senior parent move in with you is a good option.